Nothing beats phony flattery, Like the store I just dropped a bundle in, That reaches out to me, Peddling the obvious... How valued a customer I am... How they'd love to have my thoughts About their service. Could you answer some questions? Please take the time, We'd be so grateful. I'm sure they thought their kind words to me Would induce, in return, kind words to them. We'd like to be friends, They start off saying. Did you enjoy your experience, Shopping with us? Did our salesperson smile and look you in the eye? Did she say she hoped you'd enjoy what you bought? Would you like to get emails...about sales? Would you recommend us to friends? Would you like to have a latte with us? Can we use your comments on our web site? You're not a robot, are you?