Morty Ersatz was "Mostly Honest", Given that he promised kith and kin That he would give up his daily beer, But couldn't imagine They'd hold him to it. And Shaver Chesney was "Somewhat Modest". But given his strong chin and light blue eyes, He, immodestly, smiled and even winked At his reflection in the mirror. Pretty Betty Garrity, "Nearly Virtuous" Had good impulses, But sometimes, silly girl, she responded With smiles and more To the most inane sweet talk and flattery. Honest, Modest and Virtuous Are wonderful qualities, clearly... But are tarnished a tad, When modified by... Mostly, Somewhat and Nearly.