The Ballad of Lab-Made Meat

Plant-based meat...
Is near meat,
Mock meat,
Fake meat, 
Imitation meat...
Something so close to meat
That it might be confused with meat.
But should we call this no-meat mix,
Even if it looks like meat,
And bleeds like meat,
And spatters like meat
And tastes like meat?
Since only real meat needs
The slaughterhouse tools
In the chopchop gloom of the abatoire,
It alone should should be known as meat.
So if no need for the gruesome tools,
Then lab-made meat cannot be meat.
And the real meat men prefer it be known,
As slime or ooze or ick...
Take your pick.