The Drudgery of Sit-Ups

Bertle Flinch, 
A mid 20th century swashbuckling actor
Of many show-off shirtless scenes,
Announced his retirement
From the emoting trade, saying, gleefully,
That he'd never again do a sit-up
Nor diet, nor be the fictionalized ideal
That a fat movie mogul imagines 
An actor should be.
    Nope, I'm all for me now...
    Late wakeups, pancakes for breakfast...
    A life not dictated by abs.
Except a gossipy columnist at a glance 
Mentioned that Bertle of shirtless fame
Seemed to have tacked on a few pounds.
    Well, I guess a few sit-ups couldn't hurt,
He said.
    Actually, I do feel better doing them.
    And the pancakes, I can do without.
Resolute, evidently, was not set
In the stone of his faith.