An Early Brush with Celebrities

After school,
We drifted to Stiffy Watson's backyard
For mumbley-peg, yoyos and Mallomars.
Stiffy's dad was Stan Watson...
Born Stanislov Watinowski,
Once Eastern Europe's premier knife thrower
And mumbley-peg champion,
Who showed us the finer points of his craft,
Until a knife he threw at a peg in the ground
Careened off a rock
Back to his throwing hand,
Which he grabbed reflexively.
After the accident he was called Lefty.
(Respectfully, we called him Mr. Lefty.)
He lived off his disability check
And the generosity of a company
That made extra-sharp cheddar cheese.
Stiffy, who once was called the "Mallomar Kid",
Spent a month in a straight-leg cast
For a sprained knee.
So, friends being friends,
We nicknamed him Stiffy.
Her friends called Stiffy's mom "Lady Mallomar,
But we called her YoMama,
The High Priestess of yoyo practitioners,
Giving yoyos a churchly underpinning.
In the heyday of yoyos
She was credited with inventing 17 yoyo tricks
And is still the world-record holder
For "Walking the Dog" at 37 feet.