Eschatology at Work

Last call folks,
Said Joe, a weary 2 a.m. bartender.
It’s really, the last call…
Being End Times, Last Days,

The Rapture, the Sorrows.
So order a last glass of Guinness
To carry up to the Hereafter.
I still had a foamy upper lip
From a previous Guinness
And wasn’t thinking about another.
Judgment Day,
I said skeptically,
And you’re telling everyone here
To show up to heaven with a glass of Guinness…
In one stroke irritating
The bureaucrats of heaven
And mega-church preachers,
Who preach End Times for a living.
Now apologize,
I suggested
And tell everyone you were kidding,
That you’re tired
And the last round is on the house.