Food Hot, Plate Not…Not So Sure

Magnus Scarfinger,
Trying to get a reduced sentence
At his parole board hearing,
Volunteered to touch
A plate from a just-invented
Microwave oven
To see if was as cool to the touch,
As physicists said it would be...
Even though the cheese on it
Had melted.
That put him two years closer to freedom,
So he volunteered to drive a car
Fifty miles an hour into a wall
To test air bags,
Hoping that would make him a free man.
But the board thought a car
Would be too much temptation.
So he volunteered to be a vaccine tester
And a food taster.
He's recovering now from mushrooms,
He was told were safe.