Terror @ the iPhone Store

Three trips in a day
To the iPhone store...
Because my life is stuck in pre-cellular serfdom...
Rendering much of technology
As useless to me as
Einstein's notes
On his way to E=MC2.
Techies assume everyone is like a 10-year-old,
Whose connection to the world is cell-phonic,
While mine, three generations removed,
Is decidedly subsonic.
Of course, the kid wouldn't know 
An alternator from a tie-rod,
But he can work a phone,
Like Houdini could work a lock.
And I'm sure he could lead me 
Through the cellular maze,
But all I want is a working phone
Without having to know how it got there.