Bertle Flinch, A mid 20th century swashbuckling actor Of many show-off shirtless scenes, Announced his retirement From the emoting trade, saying, gleefully, That he'd never again do a sit-up Nor diet, nor be the fictionalized ideal That a fat movie mogul imagines An actor should be. Nope, I'm all for me now... Late wakeups, pancakes for breakfast... A life not dictated by abs. Except a gossipy columnist at a glance Mentioned that Bertle of shirtless fame Seemed to have tacked on a few pounds. Well, I guess a few sit-ups couldn't hurt, He said. Actually, I do feel better doing them. And the pancakes, I can do without. Resolute, evidently, was not set In the stone of his faith.